Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Relationship

Probably the biggest mistake I've seen some Catholic Worker communities make is breaking relationship. People get inspired by Dorothy Day and are driven to action. They want to take in the homeless under any conditions, make strong noise about social justice issues and they want to do it right now. They believe they are keeping with the spirit of the Catholic Worker. In some ways they are right.

But one of the most important traits of Dorothy Day was her ability to stay in relationship with people. She kept ties with the Catholic Church, even when it was not easy. She stayed in dialogue with anyone who was willing to talk to her. She valued each person who crossed her path.

We have worked hard in Columbus to stay in relationship. Our community was founded with open dialogue with the Bishop and Chancery. At St. James the Less, we worked carefully to answer the concerns of the parish and to be transparent in our actions and words. We are developing our ministries gradually and with their approval rather than imposing them all at once. We are making sure there are safeguards in place to protect the parish and school. We knew it might be an uncomfortable transition for the parish. We respect their sensitivities as they have had very valid concerns.

In many ways, former convents are ideal for Catholic Worker communities. They are marvelous buildings designed for large-scale community living. Many communities have tried to turn them into houses of hospitality. The unfortunate truth is that it is rare for Catholic Workers to stay in a convent for long. Too often, Catholic Workers become impulsive and open their doors to anyone. They seek to protest society and the church before attempting to be in relationship with them. They quickly overshoot the comfort level of the parish. It is not long before the Catholic Worker is kicked off of church property, or at the very least, ends up with a cold "don't ask, don't tell" situation.

It is easy to follow our passions and do something radical right now. It is easy to get up on our high horse and complain about injustice. It is hard to turn someone away who comes to the door asking for help. However, there are also consequences whenever a group decides to break relationship. Whenever someone gets up on their high horse, they may feel good about themselves but all they are really doing is alienating people because they are not truly respecting them. They do their mission a disservice as they are now out in the streets with fewer resources with which to help the poor.

The truth is that it is not the parish who kicks out the Catholic Worker--often, it is the Catholic Worker who has already broken relationship with the parish. I am not in a position to say what is right or wrong along these lines. Perhaps that is the way it needs to be. The Catholic Worker will always be a source of discomfort for society. But somehow, great leaders such as Dorothy Day and Gandhi found ways to be in relationship with people, even those whose actions they were protesting.

The Columbus Catholic Worker believes it is better to be in relationship than not. It might slow us down from time to time, but it could also open a whole world that would otherwise be closed if we just went off and did our own thing. Positive change and mutual transformation are only going to come through relationship, and we welcome the opportunity. We are growing to love the parish of St. James the Less, and their concerns have helped us to be better stewards, rely on God more and to think through our ministries more carefully.

Artwork by Ade Bethune

3 comments:

jonathan meier said...

frank, this is beautifully written, and beautifully thought out.

after our conversation yesterday, i regret and confess that i was harboring frustration with the catholic worker. i would be one to foolishly rush into things and start bringing people in; but, as you point out very convincingly, the risk of such haste is a severing of relationships that may potentially grow deep.

i admit, too, that i have been struggling with this issue a lot as of late: one the one hand, it is vital to the life blood of the Body of Christ to hold each other accountable to the Way and to live in obedience to our Lord -- risking others' reactions against that in the process. on the other hand, what use are we if we are not demonstrating hospitality with our lives and are not creating space for others (and ourselves) to be transformed, comforted, and ushered into the work of the kingdom?

i want you to know that i now genuinely respect how you guys are moving forward with this process. and i ask your forgiveness for any frustrations and ill-thoughts i have been harboring in the last 24 hours in regards to what i deemed the hesitancy of the CW to open up rooms for hospitality. after reading this, you have made me believe again that you all are doing beautiful things and are moving forward thoughtfully so as not to repeat the mistakes of other CW communities.

now a reminder: you are one of the most gentle, approachable, hospitable people i know -- this trait is nothing less than a God-given gift. in fact, you are SO gentle, approachable, and hospitable that i can't imagine a situation where anyone would feel alienated in your presence -- after talking with you for just a short time, they would, i think, feel welcomed by you.

i say this to say this: i trust this gift of yours to such an extent that i am willing to believe that, if you made space now for hospitality, even if it be space for just a handful of people (as our winter season reaches its vicious peak), i truly believe that your action would be met with the Holy Spirit and would, hence, be prophetic and welcoming at the same time.

again, though, please know that i now say these words with trust in your ability to discern what is right. i obviously do not know all the obstacles and barriers that stand in your way (even though i might, at times, think i do). it is easy for me just to see an almost-empty, furnished, warm house in contrast to these cold nights. i promise that i will be more considerate of your process as you move forward. i also promise that the Columbus CW, and the parish of St. James the Less, will be in my prayers.

peace be with you, brother frank.

jonathan

Frank L said...

Jonathan,

I appreciate your words, and I share many of the same concerns. Not a day goes by where we don't live in the tension between wanting to do more but deciding to move slowly.

We learned a lot when we did hospitality in the past, so we are working hard to set things up so that we don't repeat the same mistakes. We hope to be in this for the long haul.

We do have a large facility, but if we lose the trust of the church then we could lose that facility, and then what good would that be?

As you know, your community struggles with having to turn people away for concerns of safety. Our community also faces the same concerns, since there is a school next door.

I hope your community is able to work through the challenges you are facing for the man you want to give hospitality to. I am sure he would be most gracious to any arrangement you are willing to share with him, such as allowing him there only at night like we discussed.

I think your sense of urgency is also a God-given trait. We need to have that visceral, passionate response to help those who we see in need. We need to hear your voice in this. We need to feel the outrage at injustice. My only suggestion is that I think we need to balance that with a long-term vision. I have seen some agencies that rely on their haste too much and they end up burning out or in situations that get out of control, and then soon enough the entire ministry collapses and people get hurt.

I appreciate that you want to hold me accountable, and I thank you for that. I will definitely be seeking out your counsel as we move forward and I hope you continue to offer it.

Most Catholic Workers start off passionately. After a while, they start to buckle down and make house rules and they even turn people away. After doing this for a while, those are the kinds of decisions a lot of people make.

Like Oscar Romero said, "We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, and opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest."

So we have to do the work that we can do and trust that God will take care of the rest. In the end, only God can judge if we are doing the right thing or not. Let's pray that we are.

Frank

jonathan meier said...

very true, indeed!

you are right to point out our (my) own shortcomings in hospitality work on the westside, and i value the wisdom and depth with which you are approaching this topic.

thank you for your patience and your love. keep on keepin' on, my friend.

yours,
jonathan